How did we get here?

     

I’m not sure how this all started. I just know I told Dan I would agree to go on a mission. He picked up the phone told Elder Donovan we were interested in a Military Relations Mission. A couple of hours later we were looking at a list of possible places to serve. It really didn’t seem real, but when we saw Naples, Italy we were sold. I had a friend from Italy that I loved. I’m sure if someone tied her hands down she couldn’t have talked. That mission was not open until, December, 2017. I thought by then I would be ready, if Jared stayed healthy. We realized we could let Scott and Stacy live in our house. I begin looking at fun places to travel. The more I thought about it that was a long time to travel. Dan called Elder Donovan, and asked if we could go on a mission before our mission. As we studied the list again, Korea seemed right.

So much to do to show the church we were healthy enough to go. So many shots, especially for Korea. It seemed like everywhere I went there was someone I met related to one of our missions. One women came and sat next to me when I was getting a blood test. She had just returned from a mission in Naples Italy. She had lived in the same apartment we will be living in. Lisa would say, “Mom, I know you’re supposed to go, too many things keep falling in to place. We need the blessings. However, if we don’t get enough blessings, we’ll know you aren’t working hard enough.”. Kristina asked me, shouldn’t you start learning a language? I explained that we would be working with LDS members that are in the military. Mostly single, and unaccompanied men and woman. Dan could really relate, he had been sent over sea twice, for a year without his family. He had been to Korea twice with the Air Force. Once as a single young man, and once unaccompanied. He truly understands what it is like for them.

One night at 3:00 pm I got a call from Kristina, tell me she was so sick she was laying on her bathroom floor. I drove to SL and brought her back home. In the morning as I sat with her in Instacare all I could think, is what am I doing. After going through cancer with Jared, and now this, how could I leave. A calming wave came over me, and I heard these words, “If you take care of my children, I’ll take care of yours”. That was a great promise! I knew he would take better care of my children than I could care for his.

It had been two years since Jared refused any more chemo treatments. Falling in love made  Jared rethink his decision. Jared and Katie decided that he needed to do everything you could to make sure as much as possible that the cancer would not return. I could not imagine not being here for Jared while going through Chemo.  Jared, Katie, and I returned to LDS HOSPITAL to resume his chemo treatments. Lab tests were run, and the first doctor spoke to us. She felt that they would need to do a bone marrow biopsy so that we can get a more accurate assessment of what treatment would be the most necessary. After the blood tests were reviewed by several doctors we were led to a conference room. The lead Dr. met us there. He started out by reminding Jared of our appointment two years ago when Jared refused any more treatments. He went over what had been told to Jared at that meeting. He said, “We were pretty hard on you. We told you that if you stop the treatment, leukemia would most likely return and we would probably not be able to fight it.” He explained that through all the studies they have done they have found with this type of leukemia three years of maintenance chemo was necessary to prevent the cancer from coming back. Then he looked at Jared and with the wide smile said, “Jared you made the right decision. You have received your miracle. He continued to tell us how Jared’s blood test was perfect that they felt there was no need for a bone biopsy. He continually told us how absolutely rare this was and that it was definitely a miracle. As a group they decided that they did not think chemo was the way to go for Jared at this point. He will continue to go to LDS every two months for blood test. They do not declare someone cancer free for five years after their last treatment. So for the next three years, they will continue to study and watch Jared’s blood test and have six-month examinations. With a wide smile he continued to tell Jared that every time he came in for a blood test and it continued to be the same that his chances were greater as time progressed. It felt like Heavenly Father was already taking care of my children.

All too soon we were giving our talks in church. This ward has been like my family. They have believed in me. They have blessed me, caring for my needs, in my darkest hours. How do I say good bye?

My Talk

It was a cold February night. My son Jared had and incredibly painful headache, that may have been caused from the chemo. I watched my son laying on the couch in incredible pain. I called LDS hospital in the middle of the night to see what I should do. The nurse, giving me bad information, told me to wait for two days till our next appointment. The house was cold we tried turning up the heater, but nothing happened. Jared and I, in the family room, laid on the couch in front of a small space heater trying to keep warm.  I watched him go through the worst Pain I had seen him suffer. The next morning, we called Nick Ivins to see if our heater could be fixed. Nick told us that it would be very dangerous for us to turn the heater back on, and it would need to be replaced. He said he was surprised that it didn’t burn our house down it was so bad. I told Nick we would get a loan to replace the heater. For two days I tried to keep Jared warm as he endured the pain. When we got to the hospital the doctor was extremely upset that we have not been told to go to the ER immediately. We were sent to have a brain scan. Jared turned me and said, “mom this is going to be really bad news”. He was in so much pain. The doctors told us they were not sure if Jared would live through the blood clot in the frontal lobe of his brain. As Jared laid on the bed he told me, “I just want to live long enough to tell my brother good bye”. Dan contacted the Red Cross to have Aaron sent home immediately from the National Guard. In the middle of my darkest day I was told that Nick Ivins had reached out to the members of this ward and ask for help to replace our heater. He had raised almost half of the money. Nick then told me that someone had stepped forward and said that they would match dollar for dollar everything Nick raised. 

When I was just a teenager it used to bother me when they would tell us, “you are special”. I mean if everyone is special what’s so special about being special. Then one day I thought if I needed to pound in a nail, hammer would be special. However, if I needed to cut piece of wood, a saw would be special. I realized that each of us is so different that we are special in our own way. When the Savior is giving us his love often chooses us for our own special talents. Nick Ivins became the Saviors tool in our darkest hour. Our needs were so great the spirit prompted many of you and our family members to be his tools, his servants in our darkest hour. Nick told me, “please don’t ask the names of any of the people that have helped you they would like to

stay anonymous”. He said that when he called the main donor and told them that he had raised half the money, they said we were just kidding we want to pay for all of the heater and to please give the rest of the funds to help with other cost of fighting cancer. After Nick replaced the heater he said, “the heater wasn’t that old, but it was one of the worse heater he had seen. Nick said, “Your family could have all died from carbon monoxide poisoning.” I had been so sick with for three months.  I wept as Aaron held his brothers hand, and I saw the hope return to Jared’s eyes. We were extremely grateful that the blood clot did not take Jared’s life. We were extremely grateful for the saviors love that was shown to us through you in this ward, his servants, his tools. 

I have been asked if I am scared to go on this mission. Yes, I am, however I have learned that fear helps to remind me that I am not alone. That fear will bring me to my knees reminding me that I am a tool in his hands, I am his servant. I don’t know the needs of the young men and women we’ll be working with; however, my Heavenly Father knows their needs. 

After I adopted my four children I was placed in a situation where I became involved with international adoptions. For some reason I felt an extremely strong impression to help families adopt children from the country of Kazakhstan. Kazakhstan was part of Russia, where their space program was. It is the tenth largest country in the world. We had worked with one organization to get several children adopted from Kazakhstan. However, it became clear that there were some severe problems with this organization. One day I received an email that started out, “I am an inhabitant of Kazakhstan”. Sergei was a social worker that also had a desire to work with adoptions. He had found our information on the website. I explained to Sergei that we needed to be registered in the country of Kazakhstan to do adoptions. It was extremely difficult to become registered in Kazakhstan. There are hundreds of adoption agencies in the United States with years of experience that have not been able to become registered there. I had very limited expertise in this area. At that time there were only 10 agencies registered to do adoptions. Sergei went to work to figure out how we could do this. Sergei also had no experience with doing adoptions. A couple of weeks later I received an email from Sergei explaining to me that to register our agency in Kazakhstan would be impossible. Just a few short days later I received another email from Sergei this time the email started out, “We have received a miracle. My godmother was just made ahead of education for the country of Kazakhstan”. The head of education is over all of the orphanages so her job also is being over all of the adoptions. Sergei had already called her and she had agreed to register our agency. I needed to meet with her in two weeks. I was extremely nervous I was meeting with a very important women and I had no idea what I was doing. However, I knew that my Heavenly Father would help me, and I was a tool in his hands. When I met with Sher the spirit whispered to me. I knew how to sit I knew what to say. When the translator would translate what I said Sher would say, “you do not need to translate when Ginger talks”. The meeting was extremely successful. We invited Sher to visit Utah and our families that had already adopted from Kazakhstan. She had been invited to visit all of the agencies registered to do adoptions in Kazakhstan, she chose to visit us. Before she arrived I explained to the translator she cannot speak English however she understands English. When she got here she explained to the translator that she did not understand English however when I spoke she understood everything I said. She told the translator that was why she decided to come to visit our agency in Utah. We took her to every home that had an adopted child from Kazakhstan. We took her to Salt Lake Temple square. Two women missionaries from Russia showed Sher around the temple grounds. At the end of her tour she asked, “can I have one of those Books of Mormon”. This was an incredible humbling experience. It taught me that where I fall short he will help me when I listened and become tool in his hands. He taught me that we can feel the Saviors love through others. On another business trip I met with local government officials important to help us get more children out of Kazakhstan. Again as I met with these government officials I knew what to say. When we got out of the meeting Sergei was extremely pleased. He said, “you do not understand what just happened. I have watched agencies work with this man for six months, and in a half hour you accomplished more than they have”. My business partner and best friend was also with me in that meeting. She said, “I’ve never seen you like that before”. But I knew it wasn’t me, I had help. We helped over 200 children come to loving homes in America. Years later every so often I get word that one has just returned from a mission or graduated from high school.

A couple of months ago when we went to the temple I cried when they prayed for our military and our missionaries. All I could think is I hope that means we’ll get double help, because I’ll need it. 

As we have prepared to go military mission I become more aware of how important this calling is. Most of the military people that we will be working with will be single, or in Korea without their families. They are far from home without loved ones close by. They are there to fight for our freedom if necessary. Freedom is not free we cannot leave it to someone else. These men and women are the defenders of freedom. In Alma 43 the Lord counseled his people to “Defend your families even unto bloodshed”. The world is a better place be because of our military.   

It is my prayer that while serving this mission, we will be able to follow the amazing example of Christ like love that this ward showed to my family. In a cold February when a group of Christ like neighbors raised funds for our new heater, acting as tools in our fathers’ hands, showing us the Saviors love. I feel that we are all fighting a war against evil. Those around us may have struggles that we have no idea they are facing. Battles that are being fought with in the chambers of their souls. Battles that only our Savior may be aware of. Each of us can choose to listen to that still small voice whispering to us to show our Brothers and Sisters the pure love of Christ through act of kindness.